I AGREE wholeheartedly with Ms Estella Young that parents should play the main role in nurturing their children ("Cooperation, not competition, the key"; Tuesday).
My helper, Mila, came into our lives more than 15 years ago, when we decided that we needed extra help in taking care of my mother who was diagnosed with advanced cancer. Before that, I made do without a helper, even though I was working.
My daughter was five years old when Mila arrived and they took to each other immediately.
Even though I felt I should be thankful that my daughter got on so well with Mila, pangs of what I can only describe as jealousy would surface whenever my daughter preferred her company to mine, at least initially.
But, Mila took such good care of my late mother and the household that, when my mother died about a year later, we decided she was too good to let go, and she has been with us ever since.
It is not surprising that many helpers get on really well with their young charges, as they may be less strict with them and will often go out of their way to win them over - not to mention the fact that they spend more time with the children than the parents do.
From the start, I insisted that Mila take every Sunday off, for her to recharge as well as for us to reclaim our family time.
But we also include her in our outings on Saturdays and public holidays, for meals, movies and to places of interest, as we consider her a part of the family.
The issue of children being closer to the helper could be dependent on their ages.
My daughter was really close to Mila at first, and still is. But as she grew, I could better engage her on other important matters, such as school and relationships.
I am thankful that Mila made it so much easier for me to attend to my daughter's needs by freeing me from household chores.
She is undoubtedly an indispensable part of the "village" that is needed to raise a child, and she has played her part in shaping my daughter into who she is today.
Maria Loh Mun Foong (Ms)
